soccer

The Non-Attenders

/ Christopher Perry / Leave a comment

“There is nothing like football is there?  Nothing can make you feel every emotion like a football match.”  Kevin Maybe.

Portsmouth is the most densely populated city in the United Kingdom.  The latest data calculated the population to be 208,100.   As a seated stadium, the largest crowd here was in 2009 versus Spurs when 20,821 pitched up.  That equates to about 10% of the total island city population, although many Pompey fans don’t live in the city.  When Pompey played Derby in the FA Cup in 1951, the crowd was more than 20%, one-in-five of the city’s residents.  Imagine!  Every fifth person in the city going to Fratton Park. It is hard to believe that possible.

I knew a man who proudly told me he was there in 1951, although I am more impressed now if someone boasts of being in the crowd of 1,200 versus Bristol Rovers in the 2016 EFL Trophy match, which was Pompey’s smallest crowd since 1946.

Have you ever wondered about the 90% of the city’s people who don’t go to Pompey matches?  What are they doing?  Up at the QA on Portsdown Hill, there are some wards that overlook the city from which the lights of Fratton Park are clearly visible.  Up there, patients are able to listen to Pompey’s home matches on the QA Hospital Radio via the Pompey Audio Description commentary service.

This service was initially set up in the 2015/16 season in partnership with the Portsmouth Disabled Supporters Association to bring match commentary to partially sighted Pompey fans at Fratton Park, but has now been wired into the QA Hospital Radio service.  Why not just listen to the BBC Radio Solent service, you might ask?  Well many patients may do, but the Audio Description service commentators are specifically trained to describe the action non-stop, with the asides and chat saved for pre-match and half-time, so that listeners know exactly what is happening, as it happens.  It is detailed commentary, focusing precisely on where the ball is and what the players are doing.

A couple of the original Pompey AD commentators are now working for national radio and other TV stations, as the current dedicated team certainly could be, given the great service they provide to their listeners.

Besides Pompey fans too unwell to attend, there are a large number of people in Portsmouth who are freed up to enjoy a bit of personal space, while one, or more of their household is down at ‘The Park.’  My grandmother would settle into an armchair with a cuppa and watch the wrestling on ITV during Saturday afternoons, while my grandfather was at football.  Some people go down to Gunwharf Quays, (or Gunwharf Queues as I call it), for some shopping, meaning many people have to be there working too, to take their money.  

Some people of nervous disposition cannot go to games due to the anxiety a Pompey game can bring on.  My grandfather’s doctor told him to stop going to games because his heart was no longer up to the strain, which sadly turned out to be true, although he was spared watching Pompey ever playing in Division 4, which was a blessing of sorts.

In Nick Hornby’s first book Fever Pitch, he writes of his dream of buying a house next to Highbury, which came true due to the sales success of his book. As a result he could just pop out the door to watch his beloved Arsenal, but then they moved to a new stadium down the road, but not too far.  I wonder how many of Pompey’s neighbours have achieved the local equivalent, fulfilling a lifetime’s ambition by living next door to Fratton Park?

For other neighbours, matchdays might be the worst day of the fortnight.  What with the crowds roaring, parking restrictions, police horse dung in the street, match days might be days to go off the island and walk on the Downs, or the beach at The Witterings, although from both you can still see the glow of the lights (as you can from the Bognor Regis prom).  In the 1940s and 50s, some of the neighbours used to charge 6d to look after the bicycles of fans, so making a bit of pocket money from the gathering throng.

A poem by Rebecca Loveday, captures the excitement and anxiety of watching Pompey hang onto a one-nil lead against Leeds United, as the final minutes are played out.  Early leavers may just be following doctor’s orders, but for many, this is when the drama and sheer joy of attending is most keenly felt, which is exactly why they are here in the first place.

~

n.b. This article, with Rebecca Loveday’s poem, was first published in the Portsmouth FC v Wrexham FC match programme on 5th November, 2026.

Chris Perry

29/05/2026

 

Substitutes

/ Christopher Perry / Leave a comment

Being ‘On the Bench’ once simply meant being a magistrate.  As Micky Quinn infamously was reminded when being sent down for 21 days after being caught driving while disqualified twice in a month, magistrates have to dispense justice regardless of Pompey’s need for goals.  Alan Ball, Pompey’s then manager, was in court with Quinn and instructed his prize chump Centre-Forward to plead guilty and do his time.  Ball needed to know which games Quinn would miss, so he could be certain of his available squad and work out tactics accordingly until the Liverpudlian was released.

In football terms, being on the bench became a thing in England during 1965/66 when, the FA finally caught up with associations around the world, who had allowed subs since the 1950s.  It took another season for the men in blazers to allow tactical substitutions.  Being a substitute was not quite as good as being in the team, but at least the player selected for the role had a chance of being involved.  Sitting alongside the manager in the dug-out (a phrase taken from the military world) might be an opportunity to learn more of the manager’s thoughts, maybe get in his ear about how you might improve things, or just 90 minutes hoping someone might get injured enough to leave the field, or to be so totally out of sorts that you might get to kick the ball in anger.

Before the 1965/66 season, a serious injury to a player could turn a game. In the 1929 FA Cup Final, Pompey missed several chances to lead before Tommy Bell was reduced to a limping passenger out on the wing.  His knee injury let Bolton Wanderers into the game, which they won 2-0.  Again, injuries contributed to the outcome of the 1934 FA Cup Final, when an injury to Pompey’s Jimmy Allen, who left the field, led to Manchester City equalising and then grabbing a late winner. The Football Association stuck to its ways, regardless of the impact injuries could have on its showpiece event

Colin Garwood, Pompey’s mercurial goal scorer, sold to Aldershot after financial disagreement with Chairman John Deacon, was one of the first specialist substitutes.  A slight, but prolific striker, rather than a jack-of-all-trades to cover all possible options, Garwood could be used to sharpen up the team.  He was a goal-scorer, pure and simple.  He hated sitting watching the game and could not wait to get on the field to prove he should have been picked to start. 

One sunny afternoon, at home to Port Vale, released from the confines of the touchline by manager Jimmy Dickinson, Garwood scored a spectacular goal. Collecting a loose ball in the centre circle, he lobbed the Vale keeper, Trevor Dance, from forty yards to secure a 2-0 win.  He remembers that goal well, because he was so frustrated at only being picked as sub that afternoon.

Somehow, from a lone substitute, who would sprint along the touchline from time to time to save his legs from seizing up, we now have a wall of track-suited players jumping about, stretching, having a chat, lining the touchline for much of a game.  The move from three substitutes to a maximum of five chosen from nine on the bench in The Championship must be challenging for the players.

The number of substitutes now allowed gives unprecedented power to the team coach and rewards the clubs with the deepest pockets, who can afford to have top players sitting most of each game out. Being able to offer just the hope of playing on Saturday, rather than the high likelihood of getting a full game, has changed the dynamic between coach and players.  Now there is talk of ‘starters’ and ‘finishers’, to ensure all the players feel involved from kick-off.  A finisher used to be player like Guy Whittingham who scored lots of goals, not a player who gets to play for just half an hour, or less.

Nine on the bench also places greater pressure on the coach to ‘do something, do anything’ if things aren’t quite going to plan.  Spectators and owners demand more of the coach to intervene.  Players are increasingly seen as being disposable during a game and the substitutes are required to increase the intensity of the team’s performance.  I wonder whether this injection of higher pace and energy contributes to an increase in injuries, when players naturally tiring from being on the field from the start, come up against fresh, fired-up substitutes, not just one of them, but half the team.  Have we gone from substitutes only for injuries, to injuries because of too many substitutes?  One for the football statisticians to study.

~

The Number Twelve
 
I wandered lonely as a substitute
Waved to family in the crowd
Swapped brief banter with the fans
Joined in with clapping to warm my hands
 
When I see the trainer's run on
I jump up and sprint down the line
Hoping the pain is not too bad
Just enough to let me play
 
Monday to Friday is the hard work
Training is fun and the lads a good bunch
Lots of running and set play drills in the morning
Then off to play golf or to the pub for lunch
 
Being sub is better than not being involved
I’ll do what I can to impress the Gaffer
It’s the way it is, how the game’s evolved
But I want to play football, not just tread water
 
~

n.b. This article was first published in the Portsmouth v Ipswich Town match programme on 14th April, 2026.

Chris Perry

13/10/2025

 

Cup or League?

/ Christopher Perry / Leave a comment

Thank goodness we can put aside the stress and worry of battling for Championship points today and dare to dream of beating the mighty Arsenal.  Today, I want Pompey to roll up their sleeves and give everything to knocking the Gunners out of the competition.  I want every Pompey player to play with pride in the shirt and to relish the opportunity to stamp fresh glorious memories in the history books of our club.

How this day would stand out in our lives if we are victorious.  Imagine for a moment, being part of a heroic team that downed Arsenal in front of a packed, passionate Fratton Park.  Imagine how it would feel for us to be part of such a famous win, with our throats sore from singing Pompey to victory.  Think about the buzz we would have travelling home after such a win.  Ecstasy would barely describe the sensation.  I can envisage my cousin, Claire simply throwing her head back and laughing about today for many, many years to come, were we to triumph this afternoon.  Being a Pompey fan would be an even bigger badge of honour to carry than normal.

All I dream of when it is the FA Cup Third Round is of Pompey getting through to the fourth round.  We all know that Pompey winning the FA Cup for a third time is unlikely to happen this season, but it is not unreasonable to believe we can make it to the next round draw.  Was Pompey’s Wembley win in 2008 the best moment ever as a Pompey fan, or was it beating Spurs 2-0, two seasons later in the FA Cup semi-final?  Picking up the trophy in 2008 was good, but that win over Spurs fuelled by the roars of The Blue Army, was one of the greatest Pompey days of my life.

Other memorable Pompey FA Cup matches that spring to my mind are: beating Manchester United 1-0 in the 2008 Quarter-Final (which I only saw the second half of on a pub telly in Brighton); winning 3-2 at Division One Leeds United in 1977, when Pompey were in Division Two; the last-minute win, 1-0 at Championship side, Norwich in 2019, when Pompey were in League One.  Winning the FA Cup in 2008, comes a bit lower in the list, mainly because we were expected to win.

Of course, there is the B-side of Cup memories, the crushing disappointment of unexpected defeat.  Mention Leyton Orient to Pompey fans and they will groan out the name Kawaguchi, who had a nightmare in Pompey’s goal in January 2002.  Thinking about 2005, all I can recall is the dodgy penalty call against Matty Taylor, leading to a last-minute winner scored by Peter Crouch, as in 1990 when Ian Wright’s last-minute penalty for Crystal Palace away, totally ruined my birthday.

The FA Cup is not about the final game at Wembley.  The FA Cup is about giving every club in the country the chance to mix it for ninety minutes with any other club, however big or small.  It is about giving us all a brief burst of hope for just one afternoon in the middle of winter’s gloom.  With the FA’s abandonment of replays in all full rounds of the FA Cup, it could be argued that smaller clubs have a better chance of finding a way through, even if it is on penalties, so let us all get behind Pompey with hope in our hearts and give it our all.  Play up Pompey!

~

Pundits versus Fans

FANS: 
Oh, we’re on the way with Moushino’s Army
We’re on the way to Wem-ber-ley
We’ll really shake ‘em up
When we win the FA Cup
Because Pompey is The Greatest Football Team

PUNDITS:
Oh, it’s a big day for proud Pompey
It’s a day to forget the league
They haven’t got a hope
Unless they use rope a dope
Because Arsenal is by far the better team
FANS:
Wem-ber-ley, Wem-ber-ley
We’re the famous Portsmouth FC
And we’re on our way to Wem-ber-ley
PUNDITS:
Wem-ber-ley, Wem-ber-ley
Pompey should re-focus on the League
Pompey ought forget about Wem-ber-ley
FANS:
When Sol went up
To lift the FA Cup
We were there
We were there

~

n.b. This article was initially published in the Portsmouth FC v Arsenal match day programme on 11th January, 2026

Chris Perry

15th Dec 2025

South Stand Tea Hut

/ Christopher Perry / Leave a comment

Football on Boxing Day is one of the nation’s favourite fixtures.  To have a home match is particularly satisfying, but frankly, any Boxing Day match is to be savoured. 

I was once a regular on the South Terrace, Milton Enclosure, before it was re-fashioned into the seating it is today. The South Terrace was a cold, draughty, but dry place.  Close enough to the pitch to be able to smell the cut grass, the turf and players’ embrocation.  The ball would frequently end up cannoning around this patch of terrace and it would sometimes be followed by a player who had slid off the pitch, across the orange tartan track and over the retaining wall onto the concrete.  Players on the field could also clearly hear the expert tactical advice on offer from the enclosure and would sometimes respond directly verbally or more often using hand signals.

At the back of the enclosure, wedged underneath the Leitch commissioned steelwork, was a tea hut. It looked like a garden shed from B&Q and was staffed by a lady called Joyce Tynan. She worked alone, which meant that a massive queue for beverages would develop at half-time. This queue then merged with the queue for the toilets beside her hut. On more than one occasion, I found myself following the wrong painfully slow procession, when I actually wanted a tea not a pee.

Eventually, my friend, Dave and I agreed to take turns from match to match to nip along just before half-time to get our drinks order in early.  Neither of us minded taking on the task, because it was possible to still see some of the pitch from the tea hut counter. As well as being able to keep alert to the action, it meant having a chance to have a brief chat with Joyce, who was always good natured, however poorly Pompey might be playing.  Joyce had served teas at Fratton Park for many seasons and along with the senior turnstile operator, who definitely remembered Pompey’s glory years, they were two people who would always brighten any visit to PO4.

I also remember a limited option of chocolate bars at extraordinary prices being available from Joyce’s tea hut, so not many of those were bought.  I used to always check the date of these slow selling products to make sure they were at least fresh that season.

Besides the steaming urn and plastic cups of coffee, Bovril, or tea options, there was a glass cabinet for keeping pies warm.  After the match, with the hut locked up, unsold pies were left on the counter to take away for free to stop them going to waste. 

Having beaten the half-time queue, Dave or I would be back on the terrace in double-quick time, where we could gingerly sip the boiling hot drink, sometimes having a brief chat with Touchline Tony, as he took a break from stadium announcements, to dissect with us what had gone right or wrong in the first 45 minutes.

Joyce at the tea hut was a lovely woman with an impossible job.  Towards the end of her time at Fratton Park, Joyce did get an assistant, a student, who I think was simply bemused by what was expected, as waiting times did not get any shorter. Thankfully, things around Fratton Park have changed for the better.

Unlike professional rugby and non-league football, it is illegal to drink alcohol while watching a men’s professional football match, so it has been a priority for the club to ensure all catering facilities are totally out of sight of the pitch, which allows Pompey to sell alcoholic beverages throughout the match, for those who enjoy, or need, a pint at the football. 

Sadly, Joyce is no longer with us, but the club is able to offer many more part-time job opportunities on match days than was previously the case, emphasising the contribution Pompey makes to the local economy. The hospitality and catering team, led by Kayleigh Young, have a challenging job in that football stadia are only opened to fans on match days, whenever they may be, whether weeks apart, or three times in eight days. Getting the food and drink stocks for each game on such an irregular basis is a bit of a gamble, which explains in part why a limited choice of food and drink is available. It is not easy getting the stock levels right for perishable products under such circumstances. Look in the Victory Bar after a win and it will be buzzing, but after a defeat, even with a full house at the game, there can be more staff than customers, as supporters head for home. As ever, success on the pitch is a big factor in how well the club does in all aspects of the operation.

After a traditional Christmas lunch, eating is the last thing on your mind, or you may have been saving yourself to tuck into a hospitality meal at Fratton Park today. Whichever it is, I hope that Pompey and QPR can provide a cracker of a match and Pompey can put the icing on the cake with a win this Boxing Day. Happy Christmas.

n.b. A version of this article was published in the Pompey v QPR match day programme on Boxing Day, 2025.

Chris Perry

25th May 2026

 

At The Match

/ Christopher Perry / Leave a comment

Have you ever been caught in that dilemma of work versus Pompey?  In some jobs there is flexibility to work when you want and take leave when you need, but in many lines of work leave is granted when the ship gets back to port, or if it is your turn to have a Saturday off.  

Of course, for many retail workers Saturdays, and possibly Sundays, are not available for football.  As a result, getting along to a mid-week game is a real treat for shop workers.  It is worth remembering that those attending mid-week matches are not necessarily the same people who turn out at the weekend.  For some, the first glance through the fixture list is to assess what is on mid-week, whether home or away, because these are the only games they can attend.

For those who manage to complete Saturday morning duties and get to the ground for the traditional three o’clock kick off, everything has to be carefully planned.  A glitch in a train ride, roadworks, or a mechanical issue with the car can seriously disrupt the trip.  This is equally true for those travelling from say, Hereford, Bristol, or some other fine city.  Much is made of the effort Geordies go to attend away games, but Plymouth and Pompey fans are equally respected for attending away games in good numbers, despite the mileage.  Many of today’s visitors from Norwich will have travelled for over four hours (via London if by train) to be at Fratton Park in time for kick-off.  Even their local derby match away to Ipswich is some 46 miles from home.  Hardly the walking distance that north London clubs enjoy, although the recent roadworks in East Anglia must make walking seem like an attractive alternative this season.  Is Norwich v Ipswich the furthest distant derby fixture in the land?

For the self-employed, it is sometimes true that work can be moved around to suit kick-off times, but the reality is often that getting a job done, or customers’ limited availability means being self-employed provides less flexibility on match days than one might hope.  There are many jobs well-suited to Saturday games, but less so for mid-week matches.  For those working in schools, midweek matches in half-terms are great.  These games are a good time to introduce school-age children to matches where they can experience the buzz of an evening game.  I used to love the matches in August, because they take place during the last weeks of school holidays, when going to any game was not a problem.  I particularly enjoyed the early matches on the 1979/80 season when Frank Burrows’ team were launching their successful escape from Division 4.  By contrast, for retirees, (time rich, if not financially well-off), a kick off at any time of day, or day of the week maybe a good way to shake up the stasis some experience of life after work.

Today, we have a SKY match kicking off at just after midday.  It will suit some and not others.  For those who have weddings to attend, it may even be a blessing that the game can be seen before going to a mid-afternoon ceremony.  Pompey and Ipswich hero, Ray Crawford famously got married on a match day morning, playing for Pompey that very afternoon.  A man with a well-balanced perspective on life, you might say, but he was only doing what we all do, trying to balance his private life around his job.

Whatever you do outside football, getting to the game is to be respected.  Football without fans in the ground and without away supporters is meaningless.  Enjoy the game, I’ll be listening on the radio in the van. 

One Hand Clapping 

Do you remember twenty-twenty 
Trouble brewing on pub-less streets? 
Do as I say, not what I do 
Conspiracy theories
Fake News circulated by Tweet
Geezers need excitement
Downing Street believed 
Get the football back on telly 
It’s what the people need 
Her Majesty’s Government’s greatest wheeze 

They’re paid enough for goodness sake 
For the health of the nation 
Players must take the risk 
Camera crews scanning immaculate grass 
Millions watching through glass sat on sofas
Managers’ shouts echoing off empty seats 
Lower league terraces devoid of feet 
It was a daytime nightmare situation
Football played in isolation

~

n.b. This articles was first published in the Portsmouth FC v Norwich City match programme on 10th December, 2025

Chris Perry

22nd May 2026

Turf Moor, The Mystery Ground

/ Christopher Perry / Leave a comment

Turf Moor was once a place of mystery to many football fans, particularly those who only saw football through the TV eye of Match of The Day, on late Saturday evenings.  For five years, BBC cameras were banned by then Burnley FC Chairman, Bob Lord and it was the only ground in the country not open to televised match highlights.  Even rickety Layer Road, then home of Colchester United and Pompey’s Jungle Boy, Ray Crawford, was better known around the country, because of regularly repeated highlights of Colchester’s ousting of Leeds United from the FA Cup 5th Round in 1971.  Bob Lord could only see bad things coming from televising football and it is thanks to him that we have a Saturday 3 o’clock embargo on live English footy on telly, protecting the traditional Saturday afternoon kick-off, for what it is worth. 

After the embargo on BBC TV cameras at Turf Moor was lifted, the mystery and mystique of the place still held for me.  It was the ground where Ray Pointer became famous, before he came to Pompey.  Pointer, who won the League Championship with Burnley in 1960, was a hero of mine during my earliest visits to Fratton Park with my grandad. So, on 22nd April 1995, I jumped into my young family’s Peugeot 106 and drove north for a vital relegation battle between Pompey and The Clarets.   Besides being the first-time I bumped into Northern Blues super-fan, Barry Thompson, the day featured a penalty lashed home by John Durnin and the best goal I have ever seen scored by a centre-back.  I may have mentioned it before, but do look up Kit Symons exchanging passes with Deon Burton on the halfway line and his solo sprint that ended with our centre-back rounding the Burnley keeper, Marlon Beresford, before sliding the ball home for our second goal.  The 2-1 win spared Pompey relegation in 1995.  You can find five minutes of the match highlights online one hour and 39 minutes into the ‘Burnley FC End of Season Review 1994/95’.

What I recall specifically of the afternoon, was The Long Side.  This was a terrace that ran the full length of the field, like our famous North Terrace.  Away fans were caged towards the Cricket Ground end, separated from Burney fans by the police, steel railings and netting hanging from the rafters to stop stuff being hurled between supporters.  Over the top of the Bob Lord Stand opposite, snow was lying on the hilltops and a marrow-chilling wind carrying sleet, howled down the pitch.  Before the game, I was asked a few questions about our chances of beating the drop by Radio Solent’s roving reporter, (I was very hopeful we would win), before getting an excellent fish and chip lunch.  I then joined Barry and Ian, another Hereford and Worcester based Pompey fan, in a local Working Men’s Club for a very sociable chat with claret and blue clad locals.  In 1960 Burnley became the smallest town to ever win England’s top football division and it is still a town as proud of its football club, as we are of ours.  In 1995 it seemed to me that every corner shop, petrol station, bus, taxi and local business had claret and blue as corporate colours.   The number of locals wearing club replica shirts seemed far greater than I had previously seen anywhere else during my travels.

Football in 1995 was beginning to change, with the recommendations of the Taylor Report gradually being implemented.  The FA, hand-in-hand with SKY TV, had turned the tables on The Football League and held all the cards at the top table of English football.  Grounds were being turned into all-seater stadia, so to visit Burnley and stand on the Long Side was a chance to see how football used to be, for better or worse.  As so many of we Pompey fans know, travelling to away games, meeting fans of the other team who also attend matches, remains one of life’s greatest pleasures.  So, thank you to all the Burnley fans who have made it to the game this afternoon.  Football and Fratton Park needs you too.

Claret and Blue Blues

I woke up one morning, snow on the ground
Jumped in the Peugeot and headed Up North
M1, M6 empty all the way
On an expedition seeking legendary turf

At Blackburn, after what seemed an age
I had to turn over the road atlas page
To find the turn off to Burnley’s Turf Moor
To set my tired eyes on that mythical stage

Streets painted with Claret and Blue
Kerb stones, zebra crossings and traffic lights
Buses and taxis, factory chimneys too
Is this Burnley?  Well, blow me!  Who knew?

Frost on the windscreen
Snow on The Pennines, sleet in the wind
We are Portsmouth! Three hundred miles from home
Seeking one more vital league win

Johnny Lager and Kit Symons confidently scored
McLouglin and Knightsie (The Legend in goal)
Dug in deep to help Pompey survive
While Burnley, unluckily, slipped into decline

I woke up one morning, snow on the ground
Jumped in the Peugeot and headed Up North
M1, M6 empty all the way to the proud old town
On my last-ditch expedition to the historic turf

Chris Perry

n.b. This article was first published in the Portsmouth FC matchday magazine v Burnley FC on 1st February, 2025